The Plank in your own eye

When my kids are hurt or sick my standard treatment is motrin and/or a shower. It works well. Years of study and research prove that this is as effective as a doctor's appointment and most prescriptions. Most my friends and a few strangers know my philosopy. Occassionally when it is REALLY bad you may get a bandaid and triple antibiotic ointment but you better be losing blood.


So what do you do when they don't work? Well - then we have to GO see a doctor. (Insert muffled mumbling here)


Anyway, my precious center child Zach had a fairly severe injury. He had a rock chip embedded in his cornea right where the beautiful army green meets the white. It was visible on his naked eye to the naked eye and was starting to ulcerate and get infected. I was all about using triple antibiotic ointment on it but NOOOOOOO he kept blinking. We didn't have the EQUIPMENT at the house to remove the plank so we had to go to the Eye doc.

As we sat in the waiting room, Zach was getting really really nervous. He was asking all kinds of questions about what the Dr was going to do and what to expect. I explained that we were hoping that when the DR pulled the foreign body out that his eye didn't deflate like a balloon (insert sputtering balloon noises here). Slight smile. So to take his mind off of it, I sifted through the magazines. There was a wakeboarding magazine - the PHOTO issue. So I thought that would be a good way to get his mind off of the appointment. (which was over 25 minutes late). We looked at each page and analyzed it for stupidity factors. Then we got to this ad... I don't know WHY it struck us as hysterical but Zach and I were laughing so hard we couldn't breathe. He was almost beside himself when I tore the page out of the magazine and put it in my purse.

The chip was very deep but out. No eye deflating and flying around the room but if I would have had a balloon when he pulled that chip out, I bet that boy would have come three feet off that chair. Zach is on "couch rest" for 2 days and has to miss football but I don't think he minds too much.

He should be pretty much healed up by Thursday but the Dr. said no showers till then.... WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT MAN!?!?!?

PS = Wear your life jacket