Tuesday, October 21, 2008

No...not really

Yesterday I was at my local Target buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm bored and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.Target won't let me shop there anymore.Better watch what you ask bored people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

6 comments:

Nicole said...

Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! How do you get the courage?! I would never be able- even if someone paid me.
It was pretty funny though. dumb questions=dumb answers.

Anonymous said...

Try a Pug's butt. The bouquet is much more delightful.

Quiltermama said...

Too funny!

alice said...

I don't know a single person in the world like you! You TRULY crack me up! I always wished I was quick-witted but, alas, I was born blond! Not only am I NOT quick or witty, it takes a while for me to even "get" other's wit! Thanks for always making me smile (at the least) but mostly, laugh until I almost wet my pants!

Anonymous said...

Laughing on the floor now....I look very stupid:)

CeCe

so much more without words. said...

let me know when you need your next bag...i'll go and get it for you.