I have gone on for several blogs on the "legacy" my family has left. Each of us have a choice. You can stop the spiraling and break the curse of the family or you can reach rock bottom and grab a pick ax. The choice is entirely yours. You can look at each day and the misery it contains or you can try and find the joy and blessings that are there for you every day. The glass can be half full, half empty or too big. But know ~ no matter how hard you try, how much in control you think you are, you cannot do it alone.I was at the bottom of the spiraling life, not by my choices but by my situation. Some would say that Fate...Chance...Luck finally happened. I know what truly happened. I know that God protected me and guided my life to where I am today. It was because of HIM and His sacrifice that I am truly blessed.
I love music. I can listen to it and live in it. It was my emotional outlet since as far back as I remember. Sometimes songs hit a nerve.... There are some songs I choose not to listen to because they hurt too much (but trust me, I know every word) ; There are some songs I just gotta hear because I need that emotion. There are yet others that spell out my life at different times. I don't think there is one that so explains it to this point than Brandon Heath's "I'm not who I was" . He wrote it in respect to an exgirlfriend. I hear it in respect to my birth parents.
"I wish you could see me now, I wish I could show you how... I'm Not who I was."
Well enough with all the DEEP information... We are going back to light hearted and goofy!
4769
5 comments:
Your blogs really touched me, and I kept wondering, beyond the compelling content, why my mind kept going back to them. When I was a counselor, in connection with another state's CPS, I was blessed to get to know quite a few little girls and boys in similar situations, and I still think about them today. I pray that God takes that resilience that I saw in their little eyes and strengthens them to rise above their situation, to hopefully someday have the lives that all children deserve.
This song is from that time period, you may know it, used to make me cry. Still does. John Michael Montgomery's "The Little Girl"... After a horrific experience in her home, ending in her parents' death, the little girl gets put it a foster home, where she gets "hugs and kisses" everyday. The family takes her to church. When the teacher showed her a picture of Jesus. The little girls responds, "I know that man up there on the cross, I don't know his name, but I know he got off. 'Cause he was there in my old house, and held me close to his side. As I hid there behind our couch, that night that night that my parents died."
I am SO blessed to know you, to have your friendship, and your life's story reassures me that it is very possible that my little girls and boys are doing ok out there. So many times, I just wanted to take them all home with me. Your story reminds me that, even though I couldn't, God is there, taking care of them. Thank you for your gift.
I remember the first time I heard that song by John Michael Montgomery. I was driving down 105 in Beaumont and it came on the radio. I had to pull over to the side of the road because I was crying so hard. The hair on the back of my neck was standing straight up and emotions I hadn't felt in decades all came rushing in. It was tough, facing all that again. My boys were in the back seat silent. I couldn't even compose myself to talk at the time. That would be one of the songs that I rarely listen to because it is too hard to feel like that again.
Thank you for all your story. I had been blessed to have had you share that with me before (you have no idea how much it touched me!!!!!) and it was so cool to hear it all again with pictures & details!!! Seriously, write a book! You are so way fun & I am so glad that God took care of you and that he crought you to Central & into our lives! (btw, is that your stairs in your house!?)
Here's to trying to rise above your roots. I'm really blessed I have you and dad, and that ya'll've helped make me a better person, ie God and stuff. It is hard to look at who you're related to sometimes, and go "i could be this, i could turn into this, this is in me. I think you can run away from it, but then you just run the risk of running into it..it's better to fight such things out and that wayyou can at least say you did everything you could to stop yourself from becoming the person you fear. Here's to tomorrow.
btw you need to tell me more about this video thing you want me to work on....
Amen for the Tracy's of this world. You are right about life being whatever you choose it to be. I have former students that rise about horrific situations to be great and mighty women and men of God and then again I have those kids that use their circumstances as a crutch to lash out at the world. Keep writing, my friend....you are inspiring others to look at the glass half full!
Cece
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